As a teen, I don’t remember wanting to be a parent.  Actually, it wasn’t even on my radar during University.  I was pretty focused on education, my impending career and where I was going in the future….but not on kids.  I remember a break up with someone who wanted a stay-at-home Mom role for his wife, and that was clearly not me.

Well then, how did I get here?  How did I become the stay-at-home / work-from-home Mom?

I had my first child.  …and then my second ….and within those two experiences, my world changed.  All of my plans to pursue my goals, my career, and my aspirations took second place…became a lower priority.  The most important thing was my children’s success.  My children’s’ journey.

….. and being present, fully involved in their journey.

I planned to pursue my career once the kids weren’t babies anymore….once they were full-time in school….as soon as they were self-sufficient…

The time never came.  I remember days….days and days of MOM-ing….coaching, volunteering, supporting other Moms, cooking, diagnosing, chauffeuring, doctoring, cleaning….all while working from home for my husband and starting my little side hustle.  And then there were vacations, holidays and birthday parties…  My husband and I called it “being in the weeds“.  Like you’re trying to tread water in a weedy area and the weeds keep wrapping around your ankles…it’s hard to stay above the surface.  Hard to keep your head up.  Hard to take a breath. The hardest part is wondering if you’re doing it right.  Knowing that you’re making mistakes along the way (Wonder Woman) and hoping that those mistakes won’t lead to permanent issues.  LOL.  Asking other Moms for their perspective and getting information that may or may not integrate with your current vision.  Never knowing if what you’re doing is best, and wanting so much more for your children.

It was not easy.  It never is.  It was pretty hard to remember to be grateful. 

But I was there.

There are always lessons.  Nightly family dinners asking about their school day and what awesome things happened.  Talking to them about their passions and plans.  Walking beside them through the latest crisis and lying beside them in their beds, asking about their day.  Sometimes, not knowing what to say.  Waiting in silence for them to open.  Listening.  Watching their body language, feeling the change in their demeanor and knowing something is not right in their world.  …and waiting.

Navigating the joys and sorrows of their lives.  Watching them struggle, and waiting patiently to help.

What lessons my children have taught me.  Lessons about integrity, strength and worth… Being present makes a difference in their lives.

The value is in my presence.